Genki Desu
by Ellie Slaughter
Summary: I haven't been in school for three weeks. On Facebook always asking "Are you okay?", "Did you move?", "Where have you been?". I saw that everyone was still asking I don't think they even understand. My heart.... Just hurts.


Author's Note: So before you all fucking yell at me and shit, just hear me out. I'm not dead. Although I feel like shit. I just lost the want to write like I used to. Sorry, if this is depressing but this is how I feel. This happened to me and I wish it didn't. So uhmm, read. Review if you wish.

* * *

Genki Desu

One-Shot

_"Please don't tell me no. Please don't ask me to believe."_

_-Angie, Cobra Starship_

_

* * *

_I haven't been to school in three weeks. Everyone on Facebook is always commenting "Are you okay?", "How are you holding up?", "Where have you been?", or "What happened? Did you move?". I just haven't felt the need to continue on anymore with my social life. I can't see the world as I used to. He cut me deep. I feel as though he took my heart out, chewed it, burned it, and put it back in me so I could feel the pain. And the pain, it hurts. It hurts more than I could ever imagine. I don't know what I did to deserve that. I gave my all, my hope, my love, me... I gave him everything. I trusted him. I loved him. He betrayed me. I always wondered what I would do if I saw him at school... would I yell at him, cry at the sight of him, kick his ass, or simply beg him to take me back. Did I ever really mattered to him? What he did was so unforgiving... but would I take him back if he asked me to?

I try not to think of that day, but it cuts so deep it's like trying not to look at an ugly scar that's marred on your face. Betrayal hurts. I am so depressed and worn out. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. I'm tired of hiding in my room. But all I'm doing is sheltering myself from seeing _them _together. I'm tired of pretending like everything that happened to me was a bad dream and that I would wake up and everything would be okay again. I don't like living in sorrow. _If this is what love is, I don't want to love. _I thought love was supposed to be unconditional. Everlasting. What someone always dreams of. Now all I dream of is that horrible day.

_I walked down the empty school hallway. I hate this side of the school. We call it the ruins. No one really ever goes down here, but the stupid attendance office is down here and I'm checking out early. It has the nasty aura of fish and old cheese. I wrinkle my nose in disgust. I quickened my pace in a rush to get out of this part of the school. I quickly turned around the corner and saw two people, the two people I knew well. One I loved and one I hated with so much passion. I gasped sightly and felt the start of fresh tears forming. I saw _her _and _him._ She was on her knees and unzipped his pants. I quickly ran away. Not wanting to see anymore. I felt the tears burn and my heart pound with every step that I took. I didn't stop. I just kept going. How could he do that to me. To us? Was everything we had a lie? I finally stopped to catch my breath and sat down at a locker and buried my face in my knees and cried. Cried until my heart was done bleeding._

I closed my eyes as I thought of the horrid memory. I buried my face in my pillow and screamed. I got up frantically and rushed to my walls with all the pictures of us. I snatched them off the wall and threw them until I heard the satisfaction of the glass breaking from the frame. I grabbed another and hurled it at the wall. I felt the tears start to blur my vision but I continued to thrash around the old memories that I so desperately wanted to get rid of.

_"Hey Court, what movie do you wanna see?" I looked up at the long list of movies to choose from and felt his arm slither around my waist. I looked up at him. "I don't care." As long as I'm with you._

I continued to pace back and forth in my room. I grabbed my hair and screamed as I cried. I grabbed on picture of us on my nightstand and glared at it with so much hate. I threw it across the room with so much force some of the glass flew towards me. I don't know if it hit me or not but I didn't care.

_I never knew he had this kind of side to him. He just held me tight as looked up at the sky. The solace of everyone that you knew that was up there smiling at you. All I could do at this moment, was sigh in content that for once I was truly happier than I ever imagined._

I slid on my floor and cried my little eyes out as I felt my heart just bleeding, pouring itself out. I felt enraged. After all those years, how could he do that to me now!? After everything we've been through?!... How....

_I dragged him towards the picture booth with a huge grin on my face. He kept pleading for me to stop that he would do anything but take pictures claiming how he hates them. I simply shook my head and continued to lure him to the booth. When we reached it, I dragged him and put ten bucks in the dispenser and looked at him with a pleading face and then he gave in. For someone to be so tough, he was soft on the inside. _

_When we were done taking pictures the booth printed out all six of our photos. I looked at them satisfied. The first one, I was smiling and he looked sorta pissed that I dragged him in the booth. The second one, I stuck my tongue out at him and he looked at me with his head bowed down slightly and with his eyes closed. The third one, I made a fishy face and he ducked under so the camera wouldn't catch him in the picture. The fourth one, kinda caught us off guard, I pushed him and he almost fell out of the booth. The fifth one, I had my head on his shoulders and he looked at me weirdly. Lastly, on the sixth one, he surprisingly kissed my cheek and I looked at the camera startled with a blush clearly on my face. I smiled at them and put them in my wallet._

I wiped my eyes and stood up and walked hastily to my purse with and dug my hand inside and pulled out my wallet. I rummaged through all the recites and pulled out the six pictures that we took. I looked at my nightstand and grabbed the matchbox next the three candles, grabbed a match, struck it, and gazed at the match ablaze. I slowly brought the match to the picture and set it on fire. I looked long and hard at the burning photo in my hand burning rapidly and every frame turning to ash as it erased every memory of us. I felt something down in the pit of my stomach, the sickening feeling of satisfaction. I quickly threw the picture in the thrash can next to my bed.

I bent down and pulled out the whole bottom drawer full of all our pictures. I dumped them all in the pictures in the trash can and grabbed another match and threw it in the can. As I watched all of the memories that I once loved and something that I always prayed for, turn to ash. I couldn't even find the tears to cry. I don't even think I could. The only thing I could to was sit on my bed with a blank stare and look at the pictures burn in the trash can.

_I walked up to him. Stomping every step of the way. Tears streaking my face and my hands clutched tightly together where to could see my knuckles whiten. He looked at me with that lopsided grin and was about to kiss my cheek. Before he could, my hand came to his face with a dignified smack. He clutched his cheek and gave a yelp._

_"What the fuck was that for?!" He yelled at me. I looked at him and shook my head._

_"How long Duncan?"_

_"What?!" He asked, clearly still pissed that I slapped him. I felt the anger boil inside me and it exploded. I felt all the blood within me boil. I balled my fist tighter and yelled in his face._

_"How long have you been messing around with Heather behind my back!?" I yelled in his face and it seemed as all of his anger dispersed and he looked at me dumbly and started to fumble on his words. I shook my head and turned away. Anywhere but near him._

The flames were dancing a song. A song that I was entranced with. They were dancing rapidly. Crazy. Angry. Pissed. Hatred. I simply grabbed my computer and opened up Facebook. I typed in my status slowly but surely. It seems as I felt nothing at this moment. But, how can you feel something if your heart can't feel anything? I have a scar on my heart. A hideous marking on my heart that wasn't meant to be there in the first place. When I met him, there was no intruder alert. My heart had no warning. And again I ask myself, how could this happen to me? I built my walls so high. So why didn't I get an alert...? I saw that everyone continued to ask me "What's wrong?", but I don't think they even understand. My heart... Just hurts.

I may have a scar on my heart, but overtime it'll heal...overtime.

* * *

Author's Note: So, yeahhh. Sorry if you're confused on what exactly happened on why she was so depressed. She caught her boyfriend in the hallway, getting a blow job from the person that she hates most. I dunno why I used Heather, probably the girl acts just like her... I know I've said this earlier that this happened to me. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me. This story was just like a venting thing...? I guess... But I'm learning to forget and whatever, anyways, review if you wish. I feel as though I'm using bigger words in my stories. It makes me feel like a nerd, maybe I need to dumb myself a little. The title, _Genki Desu_, means How Are You? in japanese. Soo, yeahh.


End file.
